I have a confession: I hate the Lifer. I hate its smug little face, its tic-tac-toe superiority complex, and the way it sits there in the heart of the Oakheart Highcourt like it owns the place. But after losing to it roughly seventeen times—and I'm being generous with that number—I finally figured out the trick. So here's my guide to solving the puzzle, stripping away its absurd buffs, and giving this overgrown chess piece the beating it deserves. And yes, this is still accurate in 2026, because some things never change.
First, Navigate the Maze That Hates You
The Oakheart Highcourt is a labyrinth designed by someone who really, really wanted you to get lost. You can enter through the main entrance and follow the circular paths like a good little adventurer, or you can do what I did: climb up and drop in from above near the heart of the maze. The latter is faster, but it also means you'll skip some fights. Honestly, you'll get enough combat later.
Once inside, explore clockwise or counterclockwise until you reach the middle. Out of the eight doors on the central building, only one will be open. Along the way, you'll fight a bunch of Chop Chops, open fake treasure chests (because of course they're fake), and generally question your life choices. When you find the open door, head inside and talk to the Lifer.
Tic-Tac-Toe With a Grudge
The Lifer asks you to sit opposite it. This starts a tic-tac-toe-style game where you place black pieces and try to align three in a straight line. The AI is smart—annoyingly smart—and it will trap you the moment you leave an opening. My advice: play defensively. Don't let both of your outer pieces get locked. And here's the best part: losing has zero drawbacks. You can reset the puzzle anytime. After a few rounds of back-and-forth, the AI seems to mess up on its own. I won by just waiting for it to make a mistake, which took about five minutes and a lot of muttered insults.
Once you beat the Lifer, it gets enraged and attacks you. Or, if you're like me and the puzzle makes your brain hurt, you can lose a few times and the game will offer you the option to challenge it directly. Don't do that yet. The fight is impossible without preparation, because you need to remove its buffs first.
The Buffs: A Love Story in Four Parts
The Lifer has four buffs stacked on it, making it nearly unkillable. You can remove them in any order by exploring the Oakheart Highcourt and placing Stakes of Imbalance on terminals. Here's how to find each one, and which buff it removes.
| Buff Name | What It Does | Where to Find the Stake |
|---|---|---|
| Desire for Escape | Huge damage boost | Room next to the one behind the Lifer—stake on the floor with a light blue highlight |
| The Unnamed Second Buff (I call it 'Being a Jerk') | Something annoying, presumably | Room opposite the Lifer—open a fake treasure chest Echo in the corner |
| Decay of Time | Makes it incredibly tanky | On a table in a room after you defeat all enemies |
| Growing Loneliness | Tons of healing in combat | Room full of smashable rocks—turn into a Cuddle Wuddle Echo and smash the big rocks on the left |
To open the doors that lead to these rooms, you need to place a black piece on an edge tile during the puzzle. Use your sensor to see purple waves leading to four doors. Active buffs appear as purple waves; deactivated ones turn golden. Point a black piece toward the door you want, and voilà—access granted.
The Fight (Finally)
With all four buffs gone, the Lifer is a shadow of its former self. You can either beat it at the puzzle again or challenge it directly. Either way, the fight is now manageable. I went from getting one-shot to actually enjoying myself. Defeat it, and you'll get a Lustrous Tide chest and one Lustrous Tide.
But wait—there's more. The Lifer respawns, and you can keep challenging it. Defeating it three more times rewards you with four chests per attempt, up to a total of 12. So if you're feeling adventurous, try turning some buffs back on for a harder fight. Or don't, because you're not a masochist. (I tried it once. I regret it.)
Final Thoughts
I still hate the Lifer, but now I hate it with respect. The Oakheart Highcourt puzzle is genuinely clever, and the buff-removal mechanic is a nice change of pace from just smashing things. If you're stuck, remember: play defensively, find those stakes, and don't be afraid to lose a few rounds. The Lifer may be a smug board-game enthusiast, but you're a patient gamer with a grudge. And in 2026, that's still a winning combination. 🎮